that was Linda's way of asking if anyone wanted lox and cream cheese for breakfast. salmon was a staple in the house, and now i've discovered a wonderful purveyor who is at the local farmers market which is now extended to all year round! we are happy. and the fish guy has lemon pepper, dill and plain. i still have to try the small pieces that my dentist gave me from his fishing trip.
i went to savemart today to get asparagus. when i read the grocery flyers on saturday, i realized that is has been forever since i was in a supermarket. between the aforementioned farmers market, Costco and Trader Joe's, i really can't remember the last time.
so i eat lox and cream cheese, and remember Linda.
i drive past the South Bay Oncology office at Hamilton and Winchester, and remember all the infusions she had there, and i tried to visit each time.
at Le Petit Trianon and the concert Sunday, i remember Linda because the women's chorus sang there once and we attended a wide variety of shows there.
i think about starting the partners loss grief group next week and wonder what i will say.
i think about the upcoming Halloween party and think of Linda's fallback costume:
doctor's lab coat, stethescope and bag, and the identifying sign: half a paradox (pair of docs?) too subtle.
i have an appointment with an attorney found by my sister to start the creation of a will and trust for me and my assets. i think of Linda, and how organized she had things. gotta get that done.
i think of Linda a lot.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
tonight....
as i was driving home, the sun was setting and the clouds had that wonderful pinky-orange underbelly. i just love that time.
ketzl wants to go outside in the back. we don't do that at night, and i even closed his kitchen window because it is getting so cold.
pat (who called in what was almost the middle of the night in NY) says that David Letterman and Craig Ferguson are good tonight. i hope i can stay awake.
tonight's Boston Legal, a slight spin on Brokeback Mountain, was really hysterical. i was saddened to learn that this is the last season. i remember the halloween when Linda and I went in plaid shirts, purple cowboy hats, rainbow beads...the softer side of Brokeback Mountain.
what do i want to be this year? the party is Saturday, so i need suggestions soon.
ketzl wants to go outside in the back. we don't do that at night, and i even closed his kitchen window because it is getting so cold.
pat (who called in what was almost the middle of the night in NY) says that David Letterman and Craig Ferguson are good tonight. i hope i can stay awake.
tonight's Boston Legal, a slight spin on Brokeback Mountain, was really hysterical. i was saddened to learn that this is the last season. i remember the halloween when Linda and I went in plaid shirts, purple cowboy hats, rainbow beads...the softer side of Brokeback Mountain.
what do i want to be this year? the party is Saturday, so i need suggestions soon.
how tired are we of political commercials? and weekend update
i am so relieved that November 4th is 8 days away. the endless relentless TV commercials are really getting me down.
the weekend was pretty productive. the shabbat service in the park and lunch were fun. i bailed out of the hike part way because i had told Elinor i would be in oakland by 2 pm. we worked hard, got a lot done, and earned our dinner break and took time for elinor to see europe photos. i was pretty tired on the drive home. probably not the safest drive i've done but i fiddled with the radio and temperature in the car, and made it. sunday was a trip to the temple to make sure the bus to SF got off ok and then home to laundry and then out to Petit Trianon to see the San Jose Chamber Orchestra, organized by Nath, who was driven to the venue by the ever-present Jackie. it was a wonderful program, Tchaikovsky and two other pieces, one with latin jazz ensemble with electric viola. very interesting, and the conductor is wonderful to watch as she almost launches off the podium!
looking in the closet now, it feels both the same and different. i acquired one more shelf for my shoes (!!) and by consolidating Linda's shirts on the top row, i got one more horizontal section for my shirts. lowering the rod so i can reach it more easily also gave me room for another shelf (for shoe boxes). so it's feeling like the reverse of 1999, when Linda would bring a spare suitcase filled with clothes on her trips to California. she sort of oozed into the house, a promise of the move to come, staking out territory in the closet. after Linda returned to Ohio, i would go into the closet to smell her fragrance on the clothes . so parts of it were easy, and parts of it are difficult as some of Linda'a clothes move on to new homes. while it is nice to have more room in there, i know i'd rather not have it.
today i had another session with the counselor at Hospice of the Valley. there is a group on Monday evenings for people who have lost partners, starting next week. i will try that for the 6 weeks, and take a break from the one on one's for a while, not breaking into the workday. we'll see if that works for a while. Laura said i can always come back or call.
got a call from the chiropractor to set up my quarterly tune-up. i like to do that as a preventive...catch it before anything gets too weird, and my right knee has been feeling weak recently and i've been wearing the neoprene brace some.
amazing, moving on into November already. it's definitely getting colder. i think the mid-80's are gone. i'm going to need to wear a sweater in the mornings. the passage of time, the moving on of the seasons.
tissue alert
or maybe it's just me.
it's just that the future stretches out in front of me.
and while it is full of activities and people,
it does not include Linda. and sometimes that is really hard.
the weekend was pretty productive. the shabbat service in the park and lunch were fun. i bailed out of the hike part way because i had told Elinor i would be in oakland by 2 pm. we worked hard, got a lot done, and earned our dinner break and took time for elinor to see europe photos. i was pretty tired on the drive home. probably not the safest drive i've done but i fiddled with the radio and temperature in the car, and made it. sunday was a trip to the temple to make sure the bus to SF got off ok and then home to laundry and then out to Petit Trianon to see the San Jose Chamber Orchestra, organized by Nath, who was driven to the venue by the ever-present Jackie. it was a wonderful program, Tchaikovsky and two other pieces, one with latin jazz ensemble with electric viola. very interesting, and the conductor is wonderful to watch as she almost launches off the podium!
looking in the closet now, it feels both the same and different. i acquired one more shelf for my shoes (!!) and by consolidating Linda's shirts on the top row, i got one more horizontal section for my shirts. lowering the rod so i can reach it more easily also gave me room for another shelf (for shoe boxes). so it's feeling like the reverse of 1999, when Linda would bring a spare suitcase filled with clothes on her trips to California. she sort of oozed into the house, a promise of the move to come, staking out territory in the closet. after Linda returned to Ohio, i would go into the closet to smell her fragrance on the clothes . so parts of it were easy, and parts of it are difficult as some of Linda'a clothes move on to new homes. while it is nice to have more room in there, i know i'd rather not have it.
today i had another session with the counselor at Hospice of the Valley. there is a group on Monday evenings for people who have lost partners, starting next week. i will try that for the 6 weeks, and take a break from the one on one's for a while, not breaking into the workday. we'll see if that works for a while. Laura said i can always come back or call.
got a call from the chiropractor to set up my quarterly tune-up. i like to do that as a preventive...catch it before anything gets too weird, and my right knee has been feeling weak recently and i've been wearing the neoprene brace some.
amazing, moving on into November already. it's definitely getting colder. i think the mid-80's are gone. i'm going to need to wear a sweater in the mornings. the passage of time, the moving on of the seasons.
tissue alert
or maybe it's just me.
it's just that the future stretches out in front of me.
and while it is full of activities and people,
it does not include Linda. and sometimes that is really hard.
Friday, October 24, 2008
packing for the clothing exchange
it's not as easy as i would have thought. in part, it is.
not at all difficult to sort through Linda's shoes, the high heels that she NEVER wore in California...because she never wore dresses and was almost a foot taller than i am. there are a lot of black leather with leather soles (for dancing). of course i saved the ones from the seventies: stack heels, multicolor suede, wow. a lot of dress shirts, starched and pressed, had no memories or significance for me. but i am so not ready on so many things: banded collar shirts, tuxedo shirts, the red wool blazer, the velvety soft muted corduroy overshirt, hawaiian shirts, important sweaters, like the one purchased in Italy, the black cashmere, things like that. so now i have two boxes of shoes, two boxes of clothes and a batch to collect in a twist tie through the hangars and put in plastic bags for transport. so there are two slim shelves available in the shoe section of the closet. but still a lot of t-shirts, turtlenecks, overshirts, sweatshirts...it doesn't feel empty at all. so it's good and could be better. i'm glad that the things i have gathered will be going to good homes. there is still more, but there is no rush.
this morning ketzl had a ball. i opened the box containing two new bags of dry cat food. i took one into the kitchen to open, and did so. in the meantime, he had chewed his way into the second bag. now there are two open ones...not the desired outcome. christine has a sealer and will try to seal one up.
tomorrow is Shabbat in Nature, with music, liturgy and food and hikes. sounds like fun and i'm halfway to Oakland, so early in the afternoon, i'll head up to visit my sister Elinor and deliver the clothes, work on insurance papers, and have a lovely dinner.
books i'm reading:
the year of magical thinking, joan didion
the gift of grief: finding peace, transformation, and renewd life after great sorry, rabbi matthew d. gewirtz i started it a while ago and think i'll go back a bit and skim what i'd read earlier.
thai food is so yummy. took new friends to Tee Nee Thai on Thursday. leftover tofu was yummy for dinner. i like taking new people there because they always love it.
not at all difficult to sort through Linda's shoes, the high heels that she NEVER wore in California...because she never wore dresses and was almost a foot taller than i am. there are a lot of black leather with leather soles (for dancing). of course i saved the ones from the seventies: stack heels, multicolor suede, wow. a lot of dress shirts, starched and pressed, had no memories or significance for me. but i am so not ready on so many things: banded collar shirts, tuxedo shirts, the red wool blazer, the velvety soft muted corduroy overshirt, hawaiian shirts, important sweaters, like the one purchased in Italy, the black cashmere, things like that. so now i have two boxes of shoes, two boxes of clothes and a batch to collect in a twist tie through the hangars and put in plastic bags for transport. so there are two slim shelves available in the shoe section of the closet. but still a lot of t-shirts, turtlenecks, overshirts, sweatshirts...it doesn't feel empty at all. so it's good and could be better. i'm glad that the things i have gathered will be going to good homes. there is still more, but there is no rush.
this morning ketzl had a ball. i opened the box containing two new bags of dry cat food. i took one into the kitchen to open, and did so. in the meantime, he had chewed his way into the second bag. now there are two open ones...not the desired outcome. christine has a sealer and will try to seal one up.
tomorrow is Shabbat in Nature, with music, liturgy and food and hikes. sounds like fun and i'm halfway to Oakland, so early in the afternoon, i'll head up to visit my sister Elinor and deliver the clothes, work on insurance papers, and have a lovely dinner.
books i'm reading:
the year of magical thinking, joan didion
the gift of grief: finding peace, transformation, and renewd life after great sorry, rabbi matthew d. gewirtz i started it a while ago and think i'll go back a bit and skim what i'd read earlier.
thai food is so yummy. took new friends to Tee Nee Thai on Thursday. leftover tofu was yummy for dinner. i like taking new people there because they always love it.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
palin wardrobe notes
$150,000 for palin's suits? from Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue etc.
but they plan to donate them after the campaign, says the RNC.
Craig Ferguson has the definitive quote:
"nothing says hockey mom like dropping six figures on bling!!"
but they plan to donate them after the campaign, says the RNC.
Craig Ferguson has the definitive quote:
"nothing says hockey mom like dropping six figures on bling!!"
No on Prop 8 is out of lawn signs
so i'm glad that i snagged 10 last week. i gave mine to someone who lives across the street from a school and has much more visibility than i do.
for those of you not in California, Prop 8 is promoted by Focus on the Family, Knights of Columbus, with a lot of out of state funding, trying to revoke the state Supreme Court ruling of June that permitted marriages between same gender couples. almost every couple i know has gotten married in the last few months.
No on Prop 8 is changing their focus. less now on phone banks. wanting to have people staff tables in front of Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, BART stations. maybe new signs will arrive this weekend.
rabbi had a letter to the editor published in the Mercury News today. got at least one positive phone call about it. good sign.
how come political ads can be complete lies and still put on the air??? is there no limit to freedom of speech? we talked about it in staff meeting. it happens every election. but it still makes me cranky.
for those of you not in California, Prop 8 is promoted by Focus on the Family, Knights of Columbus, with a lot of out of state funding, trying to revoke the state Supreme Court ruling of June that permitted marriages between same gender couples. almost every couple i know has gotten married in the last few months.
No on Prop 8 is changing their focus. less now on phone banks. wanting to have people staff tables in front of Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, BART stations. maybe new signs will arrive this weekend.
rabbi had a letter to the editor published in the Mercury News today. got at least one positive phone call about it. good sign.
how come political ads can be complete lies and still put on the air??? is there no limit to freedom of speech? we talked about it in staff meeting. it happens every election. but it still makes me cranky.
pay attention to warning signs and sounds
the small screeching sound from the right rear wheel was actually the warning caliper on the brakes. saved about $200 because only the brake pads had to be replaced instead of the entire cylinders. and i asked if there was a coupon that could be applied. yes...there was a flyer on the counter so i got $25 off. i forgot to ask to see the belts they replaced. i'll call tomorrow to remind them. probably original equipment and maybe would have been replaced at the next major checkup at 60,000 miles. fluids and things all checked and filled as needed. i feel much better.
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