vigils and writings

tonight there were candlelight vigils in San Jose. one of them was on my way to the support group at Hospice. so i drove through and honked. it was actually more emotional than i would have thought. i hope there will be more so i can participate.

today the facilitator passed out a list of topics and invited us each to share a reflection. something we wished we had done or said; what special memories do i have that i want to keep alive; what do i miss most; what did i value most about our relationship. good questions. good sharing. people said they changed their minds about which question to answer as other people shared. one woman has a tape of her husband telling stories and how much he loved her and how much fun he had with her mother. i regret not going with Linda to places in California like Yosemite and Tahoe. i'm very sorry i don't have Linda on tape, audio or video.

from group i borrowed a book, the ABC of Healthy Grieving. on the drive home, i thought i might like to create an ABC of Linda. not being limited to one word or thought per letter. and there is liberty to be taken, so that X could be "eXacting." for those of you out there in blogland, feel free to email your contributions. so: S is of course for smile. B is for brilliant. and Bubbles. D is for Dancing Queen. W for words. keep them coming. i'll share as it develops.

meanwhile i have two new books to read, and i'll take some of mine in to share next week, when we also bring a photo.

writings: there are suggestions, from the above questions and others, like how will we spend Thanksgiving, what will we change, what keep the same, etc. i've started a series of "Letters to Linda," and now think i will also write a series of other pieces. Vicki (the facilitator) says it will be useful to look back on them in months to come, to show how far we've come.

thursday is a movie as part of the Silicon Valley Jewish Film Festival, tho this one is in Palo Alto. a documentary about Ladino music, followed by a live concert. i will be attending as a tribute to my cousin Judy, founder of Voice of the Turtle. bring tissues.

excitement and accomplishment

yesterday my neighbor Carl expressed his concern about a white lexus parked across the street for more than a week. also because once someone got out of the car and walked around the corner and got into another vehicle. so he called the police and they came and put on one of those electronic bugs. today, the car left and returned. when it got back, Hannah called me to invite me outside where there were 5 or 6 unmarked (or personal) cars and 10 police officers. they had nabbed the suspect. found out the car had been stolen at gunpoint over a week ago. that he was a real baddy-baddy, lived nearby and this was just a convenient quiet place to park the car which he occasionally used on not good business. so one team was one duty and the other teams came down in full gear and they got him. they were very happy. pretty exciting.

technological excitement: Julia told David how to do a skype conference call, so they two and Audrey and I talked for a while (and i stepped out to check on the police activity outside).

now as i was typing, Aud called on the house phone, Jeremy on the cell, and then Adam skyped.

Jeremy called to invite me to dinner, so i will miss CBS 60 minutes tonite analyzing the Obama strategy.

got the mattress rotated, bed heater plugged in, furnace filters replaced, some of the heater vents vacuumed, and ready for winter!!

off to dinner

whew the week is over...

tonight was fun, the Connie Doolan Quartet, now maybe known as Connie and the Perfect Gentlemen, or, the audience favorite: Yes, Connie! she has a great voice and the instrumentalists were fantastic. www.conniedoolanquartet.com the bass player, Steven Strauss, has hands the size of a baseball glove and he also played the ukelele!! Mike Wollenberg does some delicious guitar, and Julian Smedley plays guitar, violin, and viola. nice jazzy stuff. some latin flavor. celtic. portuguese. wow. nice mix, great venue at Mission City Coffee Roasting, put on by Fiddling Cricket.

ketzl would love go out again. there is a cat in the backyard. lots of yowling here tonight.

the video of the march in San Francisco tonight was amazing. it will be very interesting to see where all this goes. court challenges (can't violate the federal constitutional protection of equal rights), investigate the Mormon Church's non-profit status, No on Hate.

the economic situation continues to get really ugly. just don't open the statements showing how low our accounts have fallen. we can't do anything about it & it will only make us crazy.

we made it! almost...

well, for the most part. Obama won. new era for our country and the world. with the exception of the (not insignificant) win of Prop 8, things went pretty well.

Linda would have been upset at how many reporters misused the word "enormity," to describe Obama's victory. enormity has large negative connotation. to refer to large size, it's enormous. or, to quote adam, ginormous. but i think she would have been ecstatic alongside the rest of us at the major changes we are about to see. so many young people have not experienced a Democratic president. wonderful also that young people are energized about participating in the political system. they are no longer turned off by "politics as usual" which we all had experienced over the last several administrations. elizabeth dole got whomped...one of the many gains in the house and senate...there is real cause for optimism, despite the gloomy financial situation. it was the triumph of hope over fear. too bad McCain's last speech was by far his best. sorry about that.

from a friend of Linda's from whiteplains high school, whose daughter is in the army:

Other than driving down highway 90 in Arizona of all places when the voice on the radio announced that John McCain would be giving his concession speech in a few moments, yesterday evening was one in which I can’t find words to explain. I put my uniform on this morning with a great deal more pride and hope for the future! You will most likely witness a great deal of coverage from military members who voted for Senator McCain on the news for the next few days, but as a military member who supported President-elect Barak Obama, I wanted to thank you for your vote!

A new day is upon us and we finally have a President and Commander in Chief we can believe in!

there are marches and vigils all over California demonstrating against the passage of Proposition 8. more than 18,000 couples married over the last 4 months. 3 lawsuits have already been filed. one of the main issues is equal protection. my view is, if you don't like same sex marriage, then don't marry someone of the same gender.

President-Elect Obama. has a nice ring. what a nice smile he has.

i wish i weren't so tired. it was a very long day yesterday.

hey 51% waxing gibbous moon...it was lovely tonight.
it is getting cold...well, cold for California. we whimper when it gets below 40. this weekend REALLY will be getting the electric bed heater hooked up and the heater ready. it is 63 inside now and my nose is cold.

Saturday Night's Presidential Bash etc.

Tina Fey is so awesome as Sarah Palin. Unbelievable. She nails it. Maverick.
"Marriage is a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers." Queen Latifah as Gwen Ifill was pretty good too.

I went out to check on the cat and he was screeching around the corner of the grasses, chasing something. Not a bird at this hour.

One item that I didn't mention from the Halloween party: a dachshund in a crocodile costume.

So tonight was the first of 6 sessions of the partner loss support group at Hospice of the Valley. It went pretty well. Some new people. Others have been there for a while. The facilitator does it pro bono. She has a private practice up the peninsula.
Two men, both lost wives to oral cancer. It is a good place where we can all be safe and be "not okay." One of the men mentioned the difficulty of flying somewhere and not having anyone to call to say "I've landed safely." Seems like many have problems with piles of papers and lists of things to be done. That is reassuring. And we also talked about the upcoming holidays. The facilitator is going to collect recipes, identifying them with the contributor and the lost spouse...I think I'll add Linda's brisket recipe, and maybe matzo meal pancakes. and for the season, cranberry orange walnut sauce...not really sauce. More of a relish. One of the pages had suggestions of things to do at the holidays: like take a time at a holiday meal to share a story. That might be a nice thing to do in our family.

Tomorrow is an early day for me. I volunteered to be the staff person tomorrow morning at 6 AM when the poll workers arrive at the synagogue. But I'll get to come home earlier. It's going to be a long day.

omg costumes

the daughter of the hosts as Amy Winehouse was spectacular
outdone only by Rochelle as Frieda Kahlo (and Steve as Diego Rivera).
wow. lots of yummy food. kevin's apple/cranberry cake was our favorite. followed closely by christine's swiss chocolates.

fortunately is wasn't raining when i got home, so ketzl got a bit of outside time.

learning....

so i bought less at the farmers market today.
i'm listening to myself.

take good care of yourself, people have said.
so today i got a manicure and pedicure at the place where i get my hair cut.
most of the staff has been there more than 10 years. nice family feeling.
fingernails are cotton candy: light pink with opalescence.
toes were supposed to be purple but they are more of a purplish dark red.
now that it is winter and my feet will be in sox, only ketzl and i will see the color.

tonight is the halloween party. there will be a LOT of food, if past experience is any indicator.

brent musberger is getting old.
roger moore is 82. omg. how did THAT happen?
we are all getting older.

i won't miss the tv ads, but there are some wonderful youtube videos circulating. if i were more skillful, i would embed them here. "oy mc cainia" is a very nice one, as it the hockey mama for obama.

i subscribe to several green orgs that send good information. one of the latest from New American Dream was something to make you stop and think before you make a credit card purchase: you download (recycling the back of a piece of paper) and fold and tape it and make a holder for your credit card(s). the text of the protector says on one side: Every dollar I spend is a statement about the kind of world I want and the quality of life I value. On the other side are a series of questions to ask onesself before making a purchase: Do I need this and do I need it now? Was it made sustainably? Were the workers who made it treated well? Does it have too much packaging? Is it worth the money? Make a difference.
if you want to see it, go to www.newdream.org it's called the wallet buddy.

ketzl is not happy about the rain, and not being able to go out, but he gave up whining and went to sleep. welcome to winter, cat.

3 more days. or 2 if you are counting differently.
give money to keep No on 8 ads on the air. that's going to be tough.