tonight there were candlelight vigils in San Jose. one of them was on my way to the support group at Hospice. so i drove through and honked. it was actually more emotional than i would have thought. i hope there will be more so i can participate.
today the facilitator passed out a list of topics and invited us each to share a reflection. something we wished we had done or said; what special memories do i have that i want to keep alive; what do i miss most; what did i value most about our relationship. good questions. good sharing. people said they changed their minds about which question to answer as other people shared. one woman has a tape of her husband telling stories and how much he loved her and how much fun he had with her mother. i regret not going with Linda to places in California like Yosemite and Tahoe. i'm very sorry i don't have Linda on tape, audio or video.
from group i borrowed a book, the ABC of Healthy Grieving. on the drive home, i thought i might like to create an ABC of Linda. not being limited to one word or thought per letter. and there is liberty to be taken, so that X could be "eXacting." for those of you out there in blogland, feel free to email your contributions. so: S is of course for smile. B is for brilliant. and Bubbles. D is for Dancing Queen. W for words. keep them coming. i'll share as it develops.
meanwhile i have two new books to read, and i'll take some of mine in to share next week, when we also bring a photo.
writings: there are suggestions, from the above questions and others, like how will we spend Thanksgiving, what will we change, what keep the same, etc. i've started a series of "Letters to Linda," and now think i will also write a series of other pieces. Vicki (the facilitator) says it will be useful to look back on them in months to come, to show how far we've come.
thursday is a movie as part of the Silicon Valley Jewish Film Festival, tho this one is in Palo Alto. a documentary about Ladino music, followed by a live concert. i will be attending as a tribute to my cousin Judy, founder of Voice of the Turtle. bring tissues.
