so for months i've wrestled with the issue of the cell phones. since jeremy gave me the android (google phone, for which thank you so much; i'm not scared of it anymore ...) i have been unwilling to port my "old" phone number over because we could not retrieve linda's voice from the ATT airwaves. we've tried. various people have gotten the two phones to turn on; i got my contacts off one SIM card. but there will be a finality hopefully tomorrow or this weekend when i go back to my old 425 number. maybe i've been obsessing just a bit (moi?) about this. rochelle has a tape recording of linda giving her brisket recipe. now that's going to be a keeper.
so passover is over. jews are eating pizza and pasta and bagels once again. i may still make eggs and matzo because i love it so. i did not attempt the matzo meal pancakes that were Linda's trademark, with cottage cheese, cinnamon/sugar, fresh blueberries, bananas and strawberries on top. there's still time. i have the matzo meal ready.
wow it is mikvah season. two dear friends in Florida, one a classmate of Linda's from white plains high school, are preparing for the mikvah on Sunday, as part of their becoming jews on May 1. this is very exciting. Hannah and Elisheva are the Hebrew names they have chosen. i am so excited, and sorry i cannot be with them as they take this wonderfully important step together. that's even more wonderful!
so since last saturday, when i prepared here at home for my immersion, i have not worn any jewelry. none. not even one small piece. it is interesting. i'm kinda liking it. plain. not fancy. elemental. personal. bare bones, kinda. my sister commented that with my hair longer now, my new skinnier self and no jewelry and smiling, she recognized a Deborah from years ago. that felt really nice.
and to top it off, my reserve pair of orange keen clogs arrived today. happy feet!
i am open to the world in a way i have not experienced before. not sure how it relates to the mikvah and no jewelry, if at all. i'm really ready to go back, but this is not the time yet.
i've been thinking also about the screen names on my AIM buddy list. so the ones who are online are in black, with their relevant available or away messages, sometimes a comment on the music they are listening to...they are present in real time. those who are not signed on are in grey. not quite there, but lurking. with the possibility of being there. there are a lot of names on that list that probably should be pruned but i'm not ready to do that. perhaps they are screen names that people have changed or just don't use any more. there are several who are no longer living, in different categories. i think it goes back to vickie's description of people on our "bus," where you don't see them all the time, but they are there. and so i take comfort in the names in grey, even though they are not directly available to me at any given moment. but they are still there. my mother. Linda. someone in texas. my aunt in florida, a friend of jeremy's now in new jersey. several names that jeremy used to use. i'm not sure why it is comforting, but it is.
so getting closer to resolution on the phone issue. after a full year, it's time to stop paying for the extra line that i don't use. let go of trying to capture an outgoing message. it's ok. it will be ok. i will be ok. really. and i know that. really i do. with or without any messages.
it's been nice the last few days. i've seen two Hyundai Sonatas, similar to Linda's. one was the same dark green but wasn't the GLS V6. the other was black and was the V6, including the same nice tasteful rear spoiler that really improves the look, imho. and butterflies are around and a lot of hummingbirds.
and yes it is still weird. but the first year is over.
