this post will be in two parts.
first will be two pieces that i wrote last night in the quiet of the empty house. i had been thinking quite a bit about the kinds of things that i wanted to say, and one came out as an adaptation on the Shehechayanu, a blessing said at significant times. the other is a reflection on how my mikvah experience occurs during Passover. more later on the mikvah experience itself.
Sustaining Us
a blessing of thanks
to the unseen forces of the universe
which sustained me, maintained me
and enabled me to reach this very special moment of now.
(because now is really all we ever have).
i give thanks to the unseen forces of the universe
and also to the very real people in my life
who have sustained me over this incredible first year,
the year of firsts.
sustained is very much how i feel.
i made it through.
and i am feeling again,
which in itself is a blessing.
i am sustained by my connections
to people and to the universe.
the dark clouds have lifted.
i can see the light. i can feel the warmth.
and i know with certainty that i will continue
from this "now" to the next.
with gratitude.
Passover Mikvah
it is not lost on me
that my first immersion is during Pesach.
i know what has enslaved me during the past year.
i am ready to leave behind the endless grey of loneliness.
i am ready to exchange the tears of sadness for the cleansing waters of the mikvah.
i am ready to trade the stifling grip of grief for the warm embrace of my future.
i am ready to step into the waters
and into the next year of my life.
this year i was held in bondage by my grief.
next year, may i be truly free.
both written
april 11, 2009
