it's coming up this week. silly computer just bonked and i lost what i had typed. and i know i had saved it at least once. grrrrr. i'm in santa monica again this weekend. read some Passover stuff to my father, from a book that Linda had ordered and shipped here...one book for each major jewish holiday.
the traffic is abating now and i can hear the sound of the waves. but there is nothing like being right at the shore, seeing the spray after the curls roll down, hearing the crash, repetitive, relentless, rhythmic and soothing. i love the ocean.
i am looking forward to making the charoseth: chopping the apples and walnuts (i got more at the farmers market today) and adding just a bit of wine...my mother was pretty minimalist about these things. i will use her single steel curved chopping blade. it will be a pretty spiritual experience. rotating the wooden bowl 90 degrees. getting the texture right. unless one is chopping 20 pounds of apples, imho a food processor is never allowed.
i am still struck by all the confluence of things...passover celebrating liberation from egyptian slavery (in fact, Mitzrayim, the hebrew word for Egypt, means place of narrowness or constriction. kinda like a birth canal...as the people Israel left egypt for freedom in their own land.) i love matzo and charoseth. mmmmmmm. and horseradish. it's all yummy. and meaningful as i know what has been holding me in bondage this last year. and while i have learned a LOT and grown a LOT, i think i am ready for it to be over. things won't necessarily be different on the other side but it will be over. the missing still goes on. still very difficult to believe that it has been an entire year. or only a year. depending. it was the fastest and the slowest at the same time, and if anyone can explain that to me, i'd welcome the input.
quote from "the gift of grief: finidng peace, transformation and renewed life after great sorrow" by rabbi matthew gewirtz:
faith = belief + doubt + action
more from the book at a later time...
