things are moving along, getting more ready. the laying out of clothes continues.
ketzl is outside, perched on his favorite rock by the sidewalk. when i've been gone all day, i like to let him out, even in the dark. we have a streetlight just to the right of the house, and it's pretty bright and (i think) safe out there.
yesterday morning was another memorial service as part of Shavuot. i had a hard time. i'm starting to think that i've entered a new "phase" in this process, where perhaps a numbness that was enabling me to function is now lifting and reality is starting to sink in in new ways. i look in the front hall closet and see linda's jackets and the tears come. i stand in the closet and see all the neatly folded sweaters on the shelves, and it is very difficult. a new phase.
linda's car is finished with its 75,000 mile checkup, because it was time and in preparation for the trip.
oh...one kind reader out there in blogland pointed out that i haven't given much detail about the upcoming trip. shelley, a dear friend of linda's from akron, is flying to California next Wednesday, and we are driving the car back to the midwest, where i am being dropped off at a camp in Oconomowoc WI for a weekend of study with Rabbi Karyn Kedar. shelley will drive the Hyundai Sonata GLS back "home" to akron. before we leave, we will do a brief taste of california coast and at least the golden gate bridge and then head north and east to see grand tetons natl park and yellowstone and the badlands of the dakotas and on to Wisconsin. there's the summary. we have 6 days. i'll be gone from california june 20-30, being picked up from camp by Liz (formerly Pittel, WPHS class of 66) who will keep me overnight near chicago and take me to the airport on the 30th.
one reality of giving the car to shelley is that it won't be parked in the driveway. that is going to be a major difference that i don't think i had seriously considered.
tonight was a graduation party for Ariel Welch, younger daughter of Paula Marsh. it was a lot of fun. 3 families got together to celebrate their daughters' accomplishment. yummy food.
check out www.oprah.com. today features Kris Carr who has stage 4 cancer with "beauty spots" in her liver. now Randy Pausch, diagnosed in Sept 06 with pancreatic cancer, is reprising his "Last Lecture." i'm pretty sure you can see this online.
"experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted."
ahah, a blast from the past. i have to talk about the tomatoes. I HAVE FRUIT THAT HAS SET! on the variety called Mr. Stripey. i'm excited. i deep watered this morning because it's been pretty warm here (but not the 97 degrees that audrey is experiencing in NYC, complete with tennis!). and i really need to get the cages up. blossoms on the cucumbers too (lemon and armenian).
what is it about butterflies and bees? today when i was at Marshall's i found a lenox trivet in the shape of a butterfly, white background, with two gentle plants, and a butterfly on the left and a bee on the right. that combination has been sort of an icon for me and linda. from the light fixture in the bedroom are a lacy metal butterfly and an enameled bee. one of my favorite (can i say that?) condolence cards had a butterfly and a bee. dvora, my hebrew name, means bee. have i said that before? and linda collected a lot of butterfly things (t-shirts, boxes, and the innumerable photographs, and the peruvian butterfly pillow which matches the rocker recliner). so i bought the trivet.
one of the things Randy Pausch is talking about is deciding whether you are a tigger or an eeyore. one member of the synagogue calls me tigger katan (small tigger). i'm a tigger, clearly. but even a tigger has to rely on a lot of tissues sometimes.
Randy Pausch is ending his interview with Oprah: "if there is one thing i've learned through all of this, it's how good people are and how much they rise to the occasion." i too am so grateful for the support of friends and family. phone calls, emails, hugs, shared meals, and warm thoughts from near and far. as difficult as this time is, it is so important knowing that i am not alone, at least in some ways.
ketzl is in and wanting his asparagus.
